Death and a Funeral (one of those random observations about life)

Ever have on of those days during which everything seems to go wrong from the smallest annoyance to the biggest tragedy? That’s been most of this week for me.

In mid-November, one of my co-workers was in an accident (a fall from the 2 story roof of his home while cleaning leaves from his gutters) that left him severely injured and in a coma. He was an interesting man, one that would probably be labeled a nerd or a geek. He was not one of the beautiful, hip, cool people. He had very little social life, had many cats, loved scifi, and the outdoors. He was a person, like so many, who was living a life of quiet desperation.

I would often find myself engaged in long conversations with him about things I had ZERO interest in hearing about or discussing. But I knew a bit about his life and some of the things he was going through. He was all but friendless, and not because he wasn’t a good guy. Sometimes circumstances in life lead one to isolation. So I listened to his stories, talked to him, befriended him. It was really no extreme effort on my part and I hope it meant a lot to him. I hope our little office friendship and some sibling-style camaraderie brightened his days.

Sadly, he languished in the coma until his family decided to stop all life support. Their decision was a bitter pill for me to swallow because he confided in me that he and his wife were going through a nasty split just before his accident. I’ve been told by his brother that the wife and children never visited him once while he lay there in a coma. I just can’t imagine hating someone so much that after spending 35 years married to him, his wife couldn’t find one grain of compassion in her black soul, even at the end.  I can’t help but imagine her relief that the marriage ended in such a financially satisfactory way. The money was all she seemed to care about.

So, two weeks after they pulled the plug on him, he died. Today my boss and I will be attending his funeral. We’re going even though his wife suggested to our Human Resources Manager (while she was asking about his life insurance) that she doubted anyone would want to go. I would love to tell whoever is in attendance just how genuine and kind hearted he was. But I fear I won’t be able to speak as I’ve been an emotional wreck since I got the news. Even as I type these words, my eyes are welling up.

The truth is, I want to run home and hide under my covers and NOT go to his funeral. I experienced something like this before, something much closer to me and life-shatteringly painful. And all of this is stirring the deep recesses where I keep those memories. All week long I’ve been emotional and crying. I doubt I’ll make it through the service without breaking down into tears. And I know I’ll want to lash out at his wife. Grief and anger are hand and glove. I want to blame her. But, just as it was for me before, there is no one to blame. Accidents happen. People die.

I consider myself extremely lucky though. I have amazing people in my life who have supported and consoled me as I’ve been dealing with this. And because of my previous experience, I learned to LIVE LIFE NOW!!!! So, if there’s any little piece of wisdom I can impart to anyone who might be reading these words, it’s to live. Don’t wait. We all think we’ve got a lot of time. But nothing, not one second, is guaranteed. So jump into the deep end of the pool called life and get wet! Live, laugh, love. Don’t waste a moment of your life being unhappy. Choose joy. It really is just that simple.

The Usual Suspects & The Great Escape

Spoilers below!!!

Ironically, I had The Usual Suspects (1995), recorded on my DVR at the time I started the journey of 1000 movies. I’d heard from a number of people who said it was a great movie and figured I’d check it out since it was on cable, which I already pay for!! I LOVE the main actor, Kevin Spacey, but the movie also boasts a cast of other well known actors like Gabriel Byrne, Chazz Palminteri (coolest freaking name in all of Hollywood), and Benicio Del Toro.

The Usual Suspects

Now, the book describes the movie as being loaded with twists and turns that had movie goers seeing the movie over and over again. It claims that there were loose strings at the end of the movie but that fact was over shadowed by the ultimate twist. My boyfriend and I had figured out the twist very early on in the movie. We didn’t discuss it during the movie but afterwards, I asked him when he knew who Keyser Soze was? We both knew around the same time, when all the main characters were all sitting in the jail cell and Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey’s character) was sitting awkwardly off to the side. I knew then that he was going to be an integral part of the plot. As he explains the events to the Federal Agent played by Chazz, I can see that he’s re-telling the story to suit him. When Chazz’s character says to Kevin Spacey’s character, “I’m smarter than you,” I thought, no you aren’t!

I think it is distinctly possible that I figured it out as early on as I did because I’ve seen  a number of movies with that same type of twist (Primal Fear). Knowing early on did not keep me from enjoying the movie or from appreciating the acting. It was definitely entertaining and worth seeing if you haven’t already. I do wonder how this movie slipped under my radar at the time. I avidly watch and have watched movies all my life and usually see movies like this when they come out. Thanks to 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die for revealing this gem that slipped by me back in ’95.

Right now I have 14 movies recorded on my DVR from the book that happened to be coming on various cable channels and am seriously trying to figure out when the heck I’m going to watch all of them. But I did manage to see The Great Escape. My boyfriend had already seen it but it’s a classic war flick and he was all about watching it again.

The Great Escape

There are two really cool things about this movie. The first is that it is based on real events. You can actually go see the escape tunnels in Poland to this day. They’ve been preserved. I love history and a movie with some historical basis to it. The second really cool thing about this movie is some HOT, HOT, HOT actors when they were young. Steve McQueen, James Garner, Charles Bronson. The movie also starred a young Richard Attenborough who is now Sir Attenborough (he’s been knighted) and also holds the title of Baron. But most of you will know him as the grandfather in Jurassic Park.

Prisoner of War Camp in Poland circa 1944

The movie details the lives of prisoners in a German prisoner of war camp. They were determined to escape and dug several tunnels to get out. The movie showed the raw determination and unbreakable spirit of these men. I’m a big fan of the happy ending but that doesn’t happen often in true historical movies. So anticipate a fairly realistic ending. Also, enjoy that cocky, unbeatable attitude and camaraderie the men had with each other. I enjoyed the movie but it is acted in that somewhat campy way that was so common in the 60′s. But it definitely deserves to be on the list!

So, two movies down and only 798 to go . . . or something like that!!!

The journey of a thousand steps . . . er, I mean, movies!

501 Must-See Movies

It all happened innocently enough a couple weeks ago. We (my boy friend and I) went to a party at a friend’s place and during the beer drinking and chit chat, we noticed a book on the coffee table, 501 Must-See Movies. I’m quite the movie enthusiast and I was instantly intrigued. Apparently, the host and hostess were working their way through the book, seeing as many of the movies as they could. I began flipping through the book to get a feel for how many of the movies I’d already seen. I was surprised at both the number I’d seen and the number I hadn’t seen. So I did a quick, unofficial little poll, my favorite unscientific method. I had my boyfriend and several of our friends at the party peruse the book to determine if the general population had seen a decent percentage of these “must-see movies.” Not surprisingly, the numbers were low. Seems we all preferred the blockbusters and glitzy CGI creations of the day(eh hem, Avatar). Cultural deficiency? Perhaps. But I was eager for the remedy!!

So, my wonderful boyfriend trekked out to the book store in search of the book. Was it there, in the vastness of the aisles at Borders? Well, of course not. But, there was a similar book, 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die. ONE THOUSAND AND ONE!!!!  I thought 501 would be a bit daunting but a worthy pursuit towards the goal of cultural literacy . . . or whatever. Being the movie enthusiast and not one to shy away from a challenge, I said, to no one in particular, “Oh hell yeah!” And off we went, the boyfriend joining in on what promises to be an interesting journey.

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die

The first step? Going through the list of 1001 movies to determine which ones we’d already seen. That in and of itself was a 2 day adventure. “Have you seen The Great Escape?” “I dunno, sounds familiar.” “There’s a description in the book but no pictures.” “Let me Google it.” After finding it and watching a trailer, invariably we’d determine we hadn’t seen it. Then there were the hilarious conversations that went something like this. “What do you mean you haven’t seen Gone With the Wind? Were you raised by wolves?” “That’s a stupid chick flick.” And so on . . . How many had I seen that he hadn’t? One hundred and eleven. How many had he seen that I hadn’t? Fourteen. How many had we both seen? An even one hundred. So, we had a decent start. Of course, 800 movies is nothing to scoff at.

At this point I’ll note that I’d love to know who compiled this list of “movies you must see before you die.” I mean, what were the criteria. How did the likes of Borat make it in with movies like The Maltese Falcon? Seriously? What was Steven Jay Schneider smoking when he created this list?

OK, movies we’d seen all checked off the list, we decided to cut right to the chase, to coin a movie phrase. Turns out cable and DVR are great places to start. The Turner Classic Movie Channel and the Encore Channel are great for catching the classics and some of the more recent movies on the list. In checking out the listings for a single week, I came up with 10 of the movies from our little book. Of course we have Netflix and I know that will come in handy, but I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I’ve already accomplished with cable alone. Of course, there will be some movies that will likely be quite difficult to come by, like The Great Train Robbery circa 1903. Did they even have talkies back then?! Guess I’ll be finding out.

As of tonight, we’ve checked two new movies off the list. Sweet progress! I’ll discuss those in my next entry and why the author thought they should be on the list. Then I’ll put my two cents worth in!

And away we go!

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